I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
