I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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