bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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