I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
His nipple licking is glorious
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