i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize