morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
