I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
