I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
