Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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