4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
