In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
