Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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