Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I am mentally ready for anal.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
