just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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