Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
