I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize