i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
