shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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