they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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