i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
How external is "for external use only"?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
