i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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