Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
