It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
