I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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