You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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