If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
