I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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