and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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