Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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