I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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