FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
