Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
