So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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