Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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