I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
