Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Randomize
