Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
