I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
