; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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