Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
