So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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