don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
