he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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