I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
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I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
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Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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