Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
