I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
