I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize