you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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