You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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