If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
