My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
