I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
