Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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