come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
