NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
