You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
