Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
