There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
