guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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