I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
